oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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