Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
no, he came in my armpit
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
