the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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