You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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