i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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