I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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