You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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