I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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