if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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