Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
