Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
