maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Come see our sink grown plant.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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