we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
