I wanna bring you to show and tell
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
