Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
