if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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