Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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