how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
