..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
