Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
