Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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