How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Randomize
