oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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