you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just gift wrapped bread.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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