My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
