dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm like, not good at living.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
