Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
