what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
