I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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