3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
