areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
