ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
