you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
