The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
