Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
