Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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