If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize