I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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