I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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