I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
