I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
