I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
