God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm always down for nudity.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
