She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
