im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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