haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
