you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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