i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have fence marks all over my body
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
