Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I could fuck to npr.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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