dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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